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Boston Marathon 2013 and VIVA (Volunteers in Victim Assistance)

As runners, Josh and I were horrified at the events in Boston on April 15, 2013. As compassionate human beings we were completely angered by the senseless acts of violence.

It can leave one feeling helpless to do anything. Image

Sacramento…you can come out and help.

The Nimbus Winery and its vendors are honoring Volunteers In Victim Assistance (VIVA) as they celebrate 30 years of service to victims of violent crime and their families. Victim Rights Week begins the week of Sunday April 21st.  It begins with an open-house Friday April 19, and ends with a raffle on the 21st.  Raffle items will be donated by each vendor.                       

Please come out and help Nimbus Winery honor the many victims of violent crime and their families and the agency, VIVA, who has opened their doors and their hearts to these victims for 30 years.

VIVA is working with organizations in Boston, MA to assist in any way they can.

Kewish Designs will donate, for every $100 in sales – 20%, as well as, including items in the raffle.

We urge you to come out in support of this cause. This is how we help each other. This is how we support local AND support farther away. This is how it is done.

Please share this post on your various social media feeds. Spread the word!

Thank you so much. 

The Nimbus Winery is located at Hazel Avenue and Folsom Blvd. 

 

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Day 25 – Transitions

“How strange that the nature of life is change,

yet the nature of human beings is to resist change.

And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us

are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be.”

― Elizabeth Lesser, Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow

Another transition almost complete. A friend of mine said that I was going through “a sacred time of transition.” I find comfort in those words. I know  many individuals who are going through massive changes. Tremendous transitions. Relationships ending. Homes being sold. Decisions to move far away and completely start over. There is uproar and chaos.

Some individuals have change forced upon them, others make a conscious choice. Even when the choice is conscious, the road of transition is still difficult.

After a while you just want to stop talking about it. Yet, there is still a story there. Few are willing to listen. Many who are settled, and intend on staying that way, don’t understand. Family tells you they are “worried.” There are those who stop checking in and others are right there by your side.

I think about how nature goes through transitions constantly. We are a part of nature. So why would we think that life should be any different for us? I always remember when in the middle of massive change and transition that forest fires are needed. It clears out the dense underbrush and immature trees that choke out the seedlings on the forest floor. There are SOME species of trees that will not reproduce without the assistance of fire which is hot enough to make them reproduce (produce seeds). Humans need the same. Our lives can become dense with things we don’t need – both physical things and mental habits. Something will happen to clean it out. Either a personal realization, “I’m selling everything and moving to Hawaii” (I’m envious of that friend!), or an accident that completely changes your life. It will happen.

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

 

We move through it. The sacred transition is a part of our history. Sitting here drinking my coffee I think back to all my transitions. Some have been a choice – I am going to move from here to there – others have been a sudden hospital stay for a week. Every transition has given me more knowledge about myself. I discover a little more courage tucked away – I find out I have a strange sense of humor flying in. I find out I can still find the time to enjoy an evening out…JOY IS OK DURING MASSIVE CHANGE. In fact, it is necessary to find those moments. That was a huge discovery. And a recent one.

Life gets packed. Boxes are moved. Piles are everywhere. For a day or two you have no idea where your favorite sweater is. A beloved pet is allowed her own transition, another one fills the empty space. A new lifestyle is figured out and you make new friends. A new street is explored, chair at a local cafe becomes the new favorite. While everything feels like drama, one does not have to be dramatic.

And so it goes until the next big transition.

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Day 24 – just thinking

sloppy chaotic endless wondering

skip forward jump back wiggle a bit

turn around and everything has changed

look up and are totally clueless

enmeshed in vibrating cells all coordinating together

to make you you.

the only certainly is change

and yet we try so hard to not change anything. at. all.

and that is just sloppy thinking.

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Day 23 – Moving Day!

Crating the cats:

cow

Cow

baby

Baby

 

tarzan and john

Tarzan and John-jon. Don’t let those sweet faces fool you. They do NOT like to be crated. First attempt today has FAILED.

Loading up the furniture and moving. After moving…we are dressing up and going to a party. When we wake up the next day…a little more moving. Then we start settling in. BONUS POINTS…pulling together our studio space. This means… new work! YAY!

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Day 21 – Peek in my journal

  • Enthusiasm. Curiosity. Always ask “What if.”
  • Hang out with people who ignite your enthusiasm. (after watching an artist talk about her work, I’m busting a gut to get in my studio)
  • Feel ignited by new possibilities – not how to re-make what someone else has done. How many mended heart pendants does the world really need? (unless the mended heart is so provocative and different…)
  • Focus on the art and THEN slip in your other chores. Not the other way around.
  • Did you know you are a precious object? You are. And so is everyone around you.
  • Sometimes you just have to leap in the dark.
  • Making good art depends upon making LOTS of art. (“Art and Fear“)
  • Be careful when interpreting experiences. There are multiple meanings behind “Your work is so different.” (its ok to ask the observer, “What are you seeing/reacting to?”)
  • Stimuli for art is everywhere. From graffiti under a bridge to an affluent gallery show. Don’t edit where inspiration may come from.
  • Habits can restrict the range of possibilities of experience. (“The Craft of the Warrior”)
  • Impeccable action – action that uses personal power in a parsimonious way without wasting it on power leads and inefficiency. (“The Craft of the Warrior”)
  • Parsimonious - :  sparing – restrained

Random notes from: Art and Fear by David Bayles & Ted Orland, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins and The Craft of the Warrior by Robert L. Spencer. I don’t know exactly what note goes with what book…I read something and jot down my thoughts.

table in vesuvios

Table in Vesuvios a bar in North Beach, San Francisco. Layers and layers of inspriration…

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Day 20 – Life as Ritual

Pull the filter from the box and fold back the edges so it sits in the cone.

How many scoops? Strong, or very strong. What kind of day is it?

Fill the pan with water and wait for the water to sizzle, not boil, that is too hot for the coffee…

Pour the water over the coffee grounds – let it soak down. It will take as long as it takes.

this is ritual

Preheat the oven.

Measure out the flour, baking powder, salt…shortening. Work it until it is in little pieces. Add milk.

Form into a ball and then roll out on a floured surface. Use that certain glass to cut circular pieces of dough.

Place on baking sheet…12 to 15 minutes.

Aroma. Warm…butter and marmalade.

this is ritual

Sit down with a book. Cover legs with a blanket. Pat lap to invite cat.

He jumps up, purring. He kneads your entire upper left leg – and then the right.

He curls up and sleeps.

You read your book.

this is ritual

Pulling weeds, mopping the floor, scrubbing the tile -

this is ritual

Everything is sacred. Everything we do desires our blessing.

We are the Holy One placing our hands, bodies and minds into this mortal life.

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Day 19 – Why you don’t believe in yourself

We are all very quick to point out where others are incongruent (Latin incongruent-  (stem of incongruēns ) inconsistent.).

Hold on. Wait. Slow down. Think about it.

Think about ourselves first. How many times do we say “I want to lose weight/start exercising/stop drinking coffee/only wear sexy red garments” and then proceed to eat a whole bag of potato chips/sit and watch tv for hours/have a latte, add shot/buy frumpy blue things…and then not do anything for ourselves to support that thought?

Inconsistency begins inside your own head. Every time you say one thing, and do another, a part of your mind stops believing in what you say. It gets harder and harder to push through…because you have been incongruent and no longer have belief in what you say you are going to do.

Better to be honest. “At this time I am going to enjoy this hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge on the side, because it brings me pleasure.” Period. Done. It is being honest. Then, the next day, as you are eating your healthy minestrone soup, revel”in that. “Look at me being healthy. This feels great.”

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.

Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. – Carl Jung

Sift through the things you think you are versus what you actually do. It takes courage. The reality can slam you.

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself.

The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie

comes to a point that he cannot distinguish

the truth within him,

or around him,

and so loses all respect for himself and for others.

And having no respect he ceases to love.” 

― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

Our self-lies whittle away at us. What many don’t realize is that, intuitively or blatantly, as we witness other’s incongruencies, our respect for the other diminishes. Now we have a situation of people running around who don’t respect their own self, or others. Walls go up. Bad things can happen.

The first step in an authentic, deep feeling life, is to be honest with yourself.

The “two columns” practice. On one side write what you have been telling yourself; “Lose weight”, “Pay off debts”, “Wear sexy red garments.” The other column contains what you actually DO. “Have not been eating very healthy and I’m not exercising”, “Too many nights of retail therapy”, “During the retail therapy avoided the sexy red garments and bought blue t-shirts.”

Now comes the step of just seeing the incongruent behavior with the thoughts you have. The closer our self-image and ideal-self are to each other, the more consistent or congruent we are and the higher our sense of self-worth. 

So, before we start making observations about the incongruent behavior of others…start with the self. The very beginning – a very good place to start.

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Day 17 and 18 – Core Desire Feeling…Exotically Exquisite

(Stricken with the flu. Mind is muddled. It hurts to move, sit, lay, type, think. I persevere with this challenge.)

Exotic - strikingly, excitingly, or mysteriously different or unusual

Exquisite - marked by deep sensitivity, or subtle understanding.

Mysterious and deeply sensitive. The mystery of the self. What makes us tick? What sets each of us apart? What puts us all together? Figure that all out, and come to an understanding. Mystery is exquisite. Savor the sensitivity. Feeling all of this deeply brings the Creatrix out of me.  She ponders the phases of the moon and the slithering snake. Smells roses and marvels at the delicate petals. The is power in the mystery.

As I write this I am in the throes of the flu. The ONLY thing that keeps coming to mind is the following woman. To me she epitomizes the visual of exotically exquisite. Now…take this visual and turn it into an internal feeling. Movement. Awareness of the self. Awareness of the music. Rhythm. Awareness of her own power. Awareness of her creatixity! Throw in some mystery…make it exquisite.

(and now, I go back to bed with a bowl of chicken noodle soup laced with hot sauce…not so exotically exquisite…)

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Day 16 – Steps through the Suck

If you are going through sucky times: 

1. Take a shower/bath. Get in the water. Let it wash you clean.

2. Put on something other than pajamas.

3. Avoid social media. Someone else’s party that you weren’t invited to may just send you on a spiral. Another glimpse of a thin goddessfairy thing may send you into the ice cream. Pictures of cute animals aren’t always healing and motivational quotes can make you scream. Just leave the social media to  those who aren’t saying anything from their own mind. It will be there when you can deal.

4. Communicate what you are going through, however, avoid people who don’t get what you are going through (“Suck it up” or “I’ll send you energy”). You need understanding and a real live person in front of you.

5. Don’t feel you have anyone to talk to? Then write down everything you are feeling and then take the paper and rip it up and set it on fire.

6. Re-think the Comfort Food Plan. That’s the fall-back habit. Do something different…eat healthy for one whole day.

7. Changing habits is key. Instead of the usual, do something different. Surprise yourself.

8. Go ahead and be pissed. Feel it. Feel it all the way. The surface stuff of “Oh, I’ll be ok” or “I’ll get over it” is bullshit. When you feel it all the way you get down to the nuts and bolts of what is going on…THEN…you can start to surface.

9. Don’t let someone try to “fix it.” See above.

10. If you have taken a shower, gotten dressed and wrote everything down and burned the paper – then take yourself to some magnificent place and order a cup of coffee. Even if it is a $7.00 cup of coffee. Sit and observe everyone else. You will come away with something intriguing.

11. Get perspective. Ludwig van Beethoven was deaf, Franklin Delano Roosevelt had polio – and he’s also the only US President to serve four terms, Oprah Winfrey had a traumatic childhood, J.K. Rowling lived in an apartment that was infested by mice and was on government assisted living. 

12. Think about it. “I can’t……” is a lie. You can say, “I choose not to…”, but for the most part, “I can’t….” is a self-lie. There is no power in lying to yourself.

13. This one is my favorite. Stop saying “I don’t know what to do.” New mantra: “I’ll figure it out.”

(“I don’t know what to do” stops the flow of ideas. You are telling yourself that you are stuck. “I’ll figure it out” opens up the mind to … figure it out.)

14. If a friend offers to hang out – GO. (They may be following the directives that are below!) It helps others to feel good to help you. “Get a healing, give a healing.”

Just a few power tools I have tucked away to get me through my sucky days.

“Self-acceptance comes from meeting life’s challenges vigorously.

Don’t numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life.

You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously.

You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.“

Every time you get through hard times, you do get a little more power-full.
If you know someone going through sucky times:
1. Show up. Make a phone call, text, send an email…something. Check in. Frequently. Let your friend know that you are aware and willing to listen. Even if they do not respond right away, hang in there with them. Keep showing up. Don’t assume that because she didn’t respond she doesn’t want to talk to you.
2. You may have a practice of praying or sending energy to a friend in need. Great. But sometimes saying that to the friend in need can be offensive. What if your friend does not believe in that practice? What if what your friend needs is face time. Coffee, lunch…a night out. There is more power in showing up. Actions scream “I CARE ABOUT YOU.” Unless a person ASKS “please pray/send energy/mojo/juju/keep me in your good thoughts” go easy on dispensing ethereal assistance. Or do it and keep it to yourself while you are having said coffee.
3. Remember that even the most strong and courageous individuals may not always feel that way. NEVER ASSUME they are ok. See #1.